Take courage towards self-awareness

Some thoughts from a Business and Life Coach

In my coaching life, I have the pleasure to help people. They all have one thing in common: the person is not in harmony with him/herself. Managers come for different reasons, they want to look back on their lives, to better understand what they have done, why they are aggressive with people, etc. Mostly, it has to do with their belief systems, with old blockages or trauma like negativity, “I am not good enough“ or minor complexes that have been following them for years.

I usually congratulate them, because these are all wonderful opportunities to go deeper into the world of self awareness!

What a strange species we are, provided with so much intelligence and brain power. While we do everything to build, develop, optimize and perfect the world around us, we do so little for our inside, personal development. We function in a more and more complex society, fullfilling our job and self-imposed expectations, and invest in nice facades to play our games perfectly.

Everything goes back to our childhood, to the age of 4 to 8 years when major beliefs and life scenarios were constructed. We observed how our parents lived and behaved; we perceived our environment and constructed „our“ world (see the constructivism in the 20th century and research done by Harris on life scenarios). We completed these patterns later on in our teens and then during our university years. There is nothing wrong with this, but still we all do it. These belief systems are the basis for our thinking; we learn what is good or bad, right or wrong, we learn that we are not good enough, we have to fight for appreciation, that life is a tough place, some of us learn the system „win-win,“ others always want to dominate and win at any price without caring for the other side.

Belief systems become self-fullfilling prophecies. They enter into our DNA; they become the filters through which we perceive the world. Belief systems are like computer software, they function even if you are not aware. If you have grown up with a choleric or authoritarian father and made it your reference point for men, you will meet, later on in your life, similar characters as your bosses or even your husband. If you always believe that in your company, your staff is lazy and stealing, guess how your next collaborators will be.... What we believe will happen, this is also known as the law of attraction.

This is what I call Level 1 of awareness. It characterizes a person, executing her programs without reflection, without being conscious and thus being a victim of it. She is not aware of the limiting and sometimes destructive character of these programs. Here, we find the overall majority of people.

Real awareness about ourselves often starts when something disturbing happens when something kicks us out of our path. It may be an illness, a divorce, a professional change, death in the family, etc. These events – I would call them little hints – make us aware that something is going wrong in our lives, that we are not in line with our real inner-self. We often live the lives of somebody else not really our own life. Our belief systems are just mental constructions, nothing more, nothing less, they often cover a disturbed relationship with ourselves or just a loss of contact with our inner-self. A recent study published by a lady who has worked many years with dying people in New Zealand has brought us a very interesting result. The point dying people regretted the most when looking back on their lives was not to have lived their own lives!

Sure, we all want to be happy, but often, we have not done our homework on the road to happiness!! We have not faced the „old devils“. Real happiness has to do with a fundamental change in perspective. We have to look at us, our programs or beliefs that are not our own, our emotions that have been suppressed for so long. We have to look behind the facade! Everybody has something she carries around for some time and has put it under the carpet. It is time to bring them to the surface. Only if we integrate all this, we will find an inner peace, we are honest with ourselves and we get a clearer feeling, what we really want with our precious lives. Thus, level 2 of awareness corresponds to those who have started to become conscious about their programs, to work on them and change them if there are limiting. Just a few of us are falling into this category.

Of course this process takes some time and it is better to be accompanied and guided.

The more you work with yourself, the more you will get positive feed back and confirmation from your environment. Maybe some people will leave your sphere of influence, maybe some new people will join corresponding more to your higher degree of consciousness. You will become interested in different things. Maybe even so called synchronicities will happen to you, these strange coincidences with a deeper message for you and your way to go. Carl Gustav Jung, the famous Swiss Psychologist, called this coincidences signs of the „hidden order“ that manifests itself.

When you enter into this world, this is really the world of wonders, I call it level 3 of awareness. It is based on the understanding, that there is a deeper sense to my life and everything around me and something is helping me to find that out. This category is reserved to an extremely small group of people who have advanced far with awareness and understanding.

Why to do all this, why to step back a little from this nice society, family and business life, we seem to have? The search for sense and honesty with ourselves! In the end, we all want to understand why we are here, why things are happening, what really fulfills us, even what might be mission here on this planet. Our day to day distractions give us only superficial answers, the real ones lie „underneath the carpet“. Next time, you experience a disturbing incident in your life, think twice, it may be a great chance to open up to your real self. It is waiting for that...

Michael Schroeder is Business and Life Coach in Bucharest. After nearly 20 years of business experience in 4 different countries, recently as General Manager of Publishing Group Burda, he created his own company LINARSON devoted to individual coaching and personal development. He is working with General and Top Managers from different nationalities. His main purpose is to help them to reflect constructively on their jobs and lives, change attitudes or find their real potential. He is living in Bucharest since 2003 and is of German origin. Michael speaks perfect English and French and has basic knowledge in Romanian.

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